I peeped inside my tote bag and noticed that there are top three things which contribute majority of its weight: a book, a laptop and a journal.
Every time some one asks me what those things are for, my answer would be either of these:
“I read while waiting in line ”
“I work while waiting for someone to arrive.”
“Just in case I have a spare time in-between meetings, I busy myself with updating my journal(which happens once in a blue moon).”
I cringe at the thought of waiting. I hate slack times. I hate idleness. I hate it so much to the point of carrying heavy things in my bag to fill-in those times. My heavy-weight bag hurts my shoulder and back, but I don’t mind… so long as I have something to do during vacant times.
But yesterday, I was faced with a big question: Are these burden really necessary?
While thinking of the answer to that, I managed to pull a time-travel to a childhood memory when my grandma tags me along to the bank. She would let me sit on one of the couches while she gets the priority number. As an impatient child that I was, I would peep through her number and the counter number screen. I would then count the number in between those numbers and think, “why does it take so long to queue for a single less-than-5-minute bank transaction?” I would find reasons to move around – like going to the restroom, talking to one of the ladies at the reception table, reading through the blank bank slips over and over again and writing on the slips using imaginative names. I would sometimes bargain that we stroll outside and get back in time for our priority number, but my grandma would normally decline. One thing I noticed though was how my grandma behaved. She would just normally sit back, relaxed and calm, at the couch and wait – even if it takes 20 or more people before her number got to be served.
As I compare my now behaviour to hers, I noticed a huge disparity: My grandma does not mind waiting (she sometimes closes her eyes for a nap while waiting, btw). She would tell me in bisaya “piyung-piyung lang sa ku ha, ayaw pag lakaw ug layu.”
She allows time to pass without complaining — without a book, laptop, journal or anything to get busy with. With that then, she doesn’t bring with her heavy loads of stuff in her bag. And so.. I was brought back to the same question: Are the top 3 heavy items in my bag really necessary?
If these three were to be taken out, I’d only have my cash purse, cards organizer, palm-size “kikay” kit, a pen, my mobile phone. Still a handful of things, but my bag would surely weigh lighter without the three.
Then, those thoughts led me to realize — the burden of waiting is mostly caused by our attitude towards it. It is never about the long waiting time. It is all about being patient.
Many times, we want things fast. Fast employment. Fast return calls. Fast response. Fast promotion. Fast traffic. Fast food. Fast process. Fast recovery. Worst, fast life. We are so eager to see what’s next, to the point of easily getting restless and discouraged during delays.
Why not do something differently starting today?
- Stop stalking his/her Facebook account and STOP wondering why he/she didn’t respond. Just wait.
- Stop worrying about your boss’ feedback regarding a presentation you made. Just wait.
- Stop pushing yourself too hard for that promotion application you submitted. Just wait.
- Stop rushing to find the one. Just wait.
- Stop pressuring yourself to get pregnant. Just wait.
- Stop wishing for winter to be over. Just wait.
- On top of waiting.. Respect the process, pray and be confident. After all, God is at work.
It takes a period of silence and days for flowers to bloom, years for sycamore trees to grow, 9 months for a baby to fully develop. Beautiful things take time. And, it is not required of us to bring unnecessary baggage as we wait – anxieties, what if’s, discouragement, negative mindset.
Waiting in silence is a beautiful season in itself. To see its beauty though, you have to wear the right kind of lenses…or take the fog out of your current lenses.
Note: Article originally written on July 10, 2017